Help for the Broken Hearted & confused!!

I simply can't go another da wondering where I stand. Am I yet again straddling the fence or have I fallen over the edge. Something in me is seeking for wholeness but I am still broken. I have accomplished many things in this world but the one thing I desire & lack is a committed, unmoveable, unshakeable relationship wit my father the Almighty God!

I keep moving but I need to stay still. i cry aloud often and feel drained mentally, physically, and emotionally. When will this pass? Open my heart God that I may receive your word & be able to see me as you see me. It's hard to accept love when my earthly father hasn't been here for me. I know let it go it's the past but It hurts so bad. Thirty-four years later it still hurts & it matters so deeply to me.

God i need wholness because the ache within my soul can only be repaired by you. Show mercy to me...hold me in your arms & love on me..God I need LOVE!!