Hopeless Romantic or just a PLAIN Ol FOOL

I have often thought of myself as a romantic. I tend to see the good in people and start you out at 100. I'm starting to learn maybe it should be zero. I met this wonderful guy Valentines 2008. it wasn't a chance meeting his mother works with me. I went down to be formally introduced. He was cute but he was my friends son. I was five months out of a disappointing relationship and not looking for anything.

He was smitten by my charismatic charm..okay my voluptuous bottom. He was younger and again my co-worker & friends son. Even though he asked about me I didn't pursue it all. He seemed hypnotized with my beauty I mean booty but had no idea what i really had to offer. Just goes to show you, "don't judge a book totally by it's cover."

In April I had a burned out light and my brother and I tried our best to replace the bulb, no sense in paying the dealer $100 for labor on a $5 light bulb right? So after we couldn't get it Chevrolet makes it a little tricky if you aren't automotively inclined. So, I asked my friend to ask her son since I knew he was a jack of all trades. Sure enough he would do it. So she gave him my number and he called the same day. I wasn't thinking anything other than this will only cost me $50 opposed to $175.

The first conversation he was getting smart with me & I was secretly thinking be nice you need the light fixed. I fell asleep waiting on him, I gave him directions he didn't follow, and he almost passed my house. When he pulled up & got out he looked just like I remembered cut but my co-workers son who happened to be my friend. I had changed and prepared for be, I had on neon green, pink, yellow, and pink star pajama pants, a blue shirt, with socks and Nike flip flops on. OK, I wasn't expecting a date out of that. the first thing he said was, "where are you going with that on?" I quickly responded you are here to fix my car not take me on a date.

He quickly started working on my truck and was about to replace the wrong bulb. I corrected him since I was basically in his way. But anytime someone is helping me I try to help them by offering assistance even if it's just a bit of conversation. What started out as a headache turned into four hours of conversation. We discussed our childhood, our past relationships, our dreams, and desires. All before I realized he needed to wash his hands. Later, we went in the house & talked another hour. In the midst of all this his mother my friend and co-worker calls and is shocked he is still at my house, Afterwards he went to her house and told her that, "it's something special about her- I believe I'm in love." I know skeptics YEAH RIGHT!! But from that day we started texting, talking on the phone for hours, seeing each other and growing more and more in love. However, in growing to know someone you tend to see who they really are. He has shown me such a beautiful form of a man. He has opened my eyes to what it truly feels like to be loved. To hear him encourage me and tell me, "I don't believe their is nothing you can't do" inspires me to do more & try even harder. We both experienced the absence of our fathers which gave us an instant connection. We love our families and more importantly our children.

We have so much in common and yet are in so many ways different. I'm determined, driven, motivated and easy to encourage...he is determined, driven to a strong degree, and needs lots of encouragement. We are Yin/Yang with a twist of stubbornness. The problem has arisen out of our past. the lack of closing doors and leaving room for hope when their is none has caused a stand still in our relationship. How can I encourage him when he has been beaten down so bad by the waves of life. I have been as well but I handled it differently. I want to save him, or fix the problem but realize I am ill equipped. This is where my faith has to come in because right now I realize I have met the man of my dreams but he isn't perfect, he's hurting and feels trapped in past decisions and choices. Now he has chosen to try and resolve 31 years of bad choices and now I have to decide do I wait or move on?? I love him am i really a fool for believing in him and deciding to wait it's already been 7 months???

Giving

How great are you at giving? I often wonder if I give to much. The need to be wanted or desired can at times force me into a place where giving is all I have. I've never been the taker. I struggle asking for help even when I desperately need it. I never want to hear the dreaded NO! i have a hard time saying it myself. Overall I know it's a necessarey evil. More to come just something that ran across my mind.

Now what

I woke up this morning angry @ myself & the world! Angry for allowing others to treat me less than I deserve.- Lack of balance & not knowing my own self worth. i don't know where this journey is going but we will have to just wait & see!